don't know

My heart just isn't in it anymore. I don't know what triggered my apathy. Maybe it was dissolving into tears in front of my class for no apparent reason.
Maybe it's the continual negative feedback from parents and students. Maybe it's all the teachers who think they know everything. Maybe it's not being treated like a professional. Maybe it's my upbringing - that no matter what I do it's not enough. That I'll always be a disappointment.

Good Gawd, I'm depressing!

Better Late Than Never

Spring Break arrived about one week too late for me.

Last Wednesday morning, after I turned in my grades for the 3rd quarter at 9:00 a.m., I started writing some notes on the chalkboard for my students when I began to cry and could not stop.

Seriously. Crying. Couldn't stop.

The thing is, I had 26 sets of expectant eyes waiting for me to turn around and explain the crap I had just written on the board. They were aware that something wasn't right - and I know they were waiting for me to turn around and tell them my dog just died or something to explain all the tears.

I didn't explain anything. I just ducked into the teacher's office next door where another teacher was getting ready to grade papers. She saw me and said "Do you need me to cover your class?" All I could do was nod.