Lost My Faculties: A teacher's blog

About the miserable joy of teaching other people's children.

Friday, May 05, 2006

Things I’m Afraid I Might Actually Say Out Loud

"Just shut up and do it."
"What part of please stop talking confuses you?"
"Read the directions, dumb ass."
"Bring your own damn pencil"
"The junior slut look really doesn’t work for you, honey."
"No you CAN'T go to the bathroom right now, dumb ass."
"It must be time for your meds because you’re really starting to annoy me."
"Are you this stupid in all your classes or just this one?"
"That’s really not going to get you any dates…. "
"Get out of my personal space/ away from my desk/ etc. you Cretin "
"Shut the fuck up already."
"I’ll return your papers when I’m damn good and ready so stop asking. "
"If you can’t clean up after yourself, please go back to your monkey cage."
"It’s like you are a puppy who has to mark his territory by peeing on everything."
"For God’s sake stop tapping on your desk!"
"There are none so dumb as those that want to be"

5 Comments:

Blogger the anonymous teacher said...

i've actually said a couple of these...the first two to be specific. i also told a student to quit his "bitching," but i immediately went down to the principal and told on myself. he just laughed at me.

3:09 PM  
Blogger HappyChyck said...

Yea, I have to admit I've said that first two. Sometimes a little tough love gets their attention better than sweetness. Lately, I've wanted to say the things on the rest of the list, uh, pretty much every class period. May = the worn down month.

10:07 PM  
Blogger the anonymous teacher said...

I asked a student on Tuesday, "Are you this obnoxious in all your other classes or just in mine?"
I also moved two students to sit next to one another so that the class could have a symphony of whining...

2:37 PM  
Blogger Camp Cool Counselor said...

I have not said any of these (oh, don't worry, I've said some others not on your list), but the one I probably most often want to say is to parents, and it's "You did a crappy job of raising your kid!"

4:29 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT! I laughed out loud. You posted what I'm thinking. I especially love Angel's comment.

9:04 AM  

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